Thoughts running through my head as I shell out 169 bucks for the NBA league pass...
The NBA season is here. It's opening night and what better way to kick things off than with a good 'ol rambling? There
are so many headlines to look forward to this season. Phil Jackson is back in fantasy land. The
Miami Heat loaded up with offensive talent that actually includes Antoine Walker and
first ballot cheap ringer Gary Payton. Ron Artest makes his return after a year's suspension for giving us the funniest moment
in NBA history. Oh, and
Brian Hill is back in Orlando, seven years after being kicked to the curb.
I can't tell you how excited I am sitting here with the basketball season only a few hours away. I'm like a little kid
waiting for the first day of school. I've got my clothes all pressed and laid out; my pencils are sharpened, and all my books
are covered in brown newspaper. Good times all around.
With so much to look forward to this season, let's take a look at just some of the more entertaining headlines we can
all look forward to this year.
1. Getting Offensive in South Beach Shaq, Walker, Williams, Wade, Mourning, Payton. Damn. Sounds like an all-star team doesn't it? Well, in some regards it
is. The Heat, who was one bruised rib away from making the finals, reloaded this offseason with players who love to put the ball
in the hoop. It's going to be very fun watching this team get up and down the court every night. How many bad shots will Walker
take before Shaq puts a hit out on him? How about white chocolate? Will Shaq start arresting people if he doesn't get the ball
enough? What does the mitten (formerly the glove) have left in the tank? How much will Dwyane Wade improve in year three? The
Heat is going to be one of the best teams in the league, but more importantly, will provide a great deal of entertainment.
Things couldn't be hotter right now in south beach.
2. Sunset Just one season ago the Phoenix Suns won 62 games and made it all the way to
the Western Conference finals. There, they faced a superior
San Antonio Spurs team that not only played the Suns run and gun style of play, but
also knew how to defend. The big knock on the Suns all last season was that they couldn't guard the popcorn venders at the
concession stand, let alone an NBA team. I guess owner Jerry Colangelo and his son took that to heart, because the Suns made
dramatic changes of their own. Out are Quentin Richardson and the totally underrated Joe Johnson, and in are Raja Bell (my
favorite role player who gets no respect), and Kurt Thomas (equipped with his fearful scowl). At that point, two thirds of their
starting lineup was gone. And then Amare went down with a knee injury. Now, instead of looking forward to another run at a
championship, the Suns are in a position where they'll be happy to just be respectable. Teams are gonna be gunning for them all
season long, and with only Thomas and Brian Grant (yes, that Brian Grant) as the only big men to pass to, reigning MVP Steve
Nash is going to have his hands full getting this team into the playoffs. If he does, I'll personally hand deliver the MVP
trophy to his house.
3. Phil Jackson: The Return Just when you thought all the drama had escaped LA, Phillip decided to return to the sidelines to coach the one man who
ended his tenure the first time. Jackson's return, coupled with Kobe's new focus, makes for a fearful combination. Too bad their
rotation includes names such as Brian Cook, an over the hill Aaron McKie, and something called a Smush Parker. It's going to be
a dog fight in Tinseltown, and Jackson will finally have to prove that he can coach more than just superstars. At the end of the
day, look for the Lakers to return to the playoffs.
4. Ron Artest: The Comeback All kidding aside, having Ron Artest back is great for the league, if only for beer sales. Artest is clearly insane and
even as I sit at my desk in Orlando, I fear for my life. Anyway, Artest is on his last leg. One more screw up, and he's out of
basketball, forever. That alone should be motivation enough for Artest to return on his best behavior, play balls out all
season, and help Jermaine O'Neal and the Pacers get to the finals. With so many hecklers lining up to test Artest's patience,
it's going to make for a very entertaining season in Indiana.
5. Brian Hill: The Corporate Spin Just when the basketball god's give the Magic another chance to redeem their awful decision making, they go and make
another blunder. Look, I love Brian Hill and I think he's a decent enough
coach (especially when compared to the totally inept
Johnny Davis), but he is not what this team needed. If it were me, I
would have mailed a blank check to either Phil Jackson or Larry Brown with a note attached saying, "Write your price!" Hill is
here to merely win back the fans that abandoned the team when he was fired the first time. Magic officials have proclaimed this
as such a monumental addition and it actually has fans believing we're close to a 50 win team because of his presence. Are you
freaking kidding me? Hill will have a minimal impact as a coach, and was only brought back to sell tickets (has anyone seen the
new Magic promotional commercial?). Magic fans have been fed the corporate spin yet again, and instead of finding a true
teacher and coach to turn this franchise around, they instead selected another figure head that only looks good on paper.
6. Sky Rocketing Last season was just a taste of how good the Rockets are going to be this year. We saw the very best--on both ends of
the floor I might add--of
Tracy McGrady in the first round playoffs against Dallas. He single
handedly took Dirk Nowitzki out of the series, and played on a level we've never seen before. Too bad his counterpart, Yao Ming,
couldn't bring the same intensity. McGrady was a one man wrecking crew, and I'm pretty sure that the 40 point drubbing in game 7
had to leave a bad taste in everyone's mouth. So the Rockets regrouped. They got more athletic with the trade for Skip to My
Lou, and the signings of Derek Anderson (who still has something left) and Stromile Swift (one of the most underrated signings
of the offseason). The Rockets are deadly this season and if Ming can just raise his game just a smidgen, Houston will
definitely make it out of the first round.
7. Larry in the Mecca I hate the Knicks. No need in sugar coating it. I can't stand them. I grew up in NY and I've hated them ever since I
started following basketball. I even lived in what we called a Knick hating household, where everyone pretty much despised the
team. With that said, I can't help but love what they've done going into this season. They hired the second best coach in the
league and for the first time in years, have a solid roster. Gone are most of the undersized big men and 80 small forwards. The
Knicks now have quality depth on both ends of the floor, and with Larry Brown in charge of the troops; I have no doubt in my
mind that the Garden will be rockin' again. Unless of course, Isiah Thomas gets trigger happy.
8. The Ticket has been cashed You have to feel for Kevin Garnett. Two years ago he was in the Western Conference finals, out of the first round for
the first time in his career. Now, he's got a bunch of YMCA rejects for teammates and a new head coach. KG deserves better.
Unfortunately for him, he can't pull a Vince Carter and ask for a trade. For that to happen, a team would have to trade their
entire roster to get him; might as well rename the team after him at that point. So he's stuck in Minnesota, playing with the
likes of Anthony Carter, Michael Olowokandi, and Marko Jaric. Ouch!
9. LeBron, LeBron, and more LeBron If you thought we've been spoon fed a steady diet of LeBron James before, just wait until the Cavs make the playoffs.
This is the year that James finally joins the big dance. If he can't win with Donyell Marshall, Larry Hughes, Damon Jones, and
Zydrunas Ilgauskas, then we might have to rethink this whole, "Next MJ" thing. The kid has a lot of skills, and if he can raise
his game to the next level, the Cavs will easily make the playoffs, and might actually surprise somebody in the first round to
get to the semis. This will be a huge year for the league's future mega star.
10. The Champ is HERE! At this point, do we really need to play the games? Let's just cut our losses, give the Spurs the championship, and
start next year's offseason. Think about it. In addition to the same team that won the championship last season, the Spurs
added the best big man in Europe, a clutch point guard with experience, and a former franchise player. Fabricio Oberto will
definitely help the Spurs front court, while Nick Van Exel and Michael Finley greatly improves their backcourt. And oh, by the
way, they have Tim Duncan, the best player on the planet. Barring injuries and a monumental collapse, the league might as well
start making next years championship rings.